Before I get into what really grinds my gears, I am going to take a second and make this my “Warning” or “Caution“. This post is over a serious issue. This is a hard subject to touch on and I really don’t want to offend anyone or scare anyone. I will try to keep it short and to the point (I may ramble, I can’t help it sometimes). I’ve personally dealt with it and I have family and friends that have dealt with it as well. IT SUCKS. IT HURTS. ITS NOT FAIR. And I AM SORRY.
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You know what really grinds my (parental) gears?
Miscarriages and Infertility. Everything about both of these issues sucks! It’s NEVER fair and its never easy. It is the some of the worst heartache you will ever experience.
Miscarriage is a pregnancy that ends on its own (AmericanPregnancy.Org). The website just cited had some great but unfortunate facts:
- 10-25% of clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage
- women over 40 have a (huge) 50%chance of miscarriage
- there are 8 different types of Miscarriages that Doctors may refer to
The site also had a great section at the end for websites that are helpful in addressing miscarriage and pregnancy loss.
I have had a miscarriage and as I said before, IT SUCKS, IT HURTS, ITS NOT FAIR! BUT, normally it is something you can move on from. I remember when I was pregnant with my youngest son (my 3rd pregnancy), I was so worried that pregnancy was about to end in miscarriage as well. The Doctor reassured me that just because I’ve had one, it did NOT make me “prone” to have another (I held my breath until about the 16th week of gestation). He’s here, he’s 18 months (almost) now, he’s healthy, and he completed us.
Infertility is the inability to get pregnant within a year of unprotected sex and also including women (couples) that are able to get pregnant but cannot stay pregnant (miscarriage)(WomensHealth.Gov). It is affecting nearly 10% of women aged 15-44 in the U.S. This site was very informative. ASRM.Org was just as informative but gave you the facts quickly.
Infertility does not mean you can never have children (unfortunately for some, yes it does). I know at least two couples whom have had infertility treatments done and were both SUCCESSFUL! Their journeys were not easy though, there was still a lot of pain and heartache.
I am trying to stay short with this and not go off on some post that I could spend hours and days writing, as I easily could over this topic. These events are very personal and very tragic. And a lot of why I wrote this post is because, it really does grind my gears that people have to experience their hearts being ripped from their chests. I see soooo many stories about abusive and neglectful parents. I don’t understand why those people get to have children and other (parent material, couples that deserve children) are cursed with infertility and/or miscarriages?! That sucks. That hurts. And one last time, I am sorry.