You know what really grinds my (parental) gears?
The act of being selfless. Yes, you read that correctly. I want to be selfish (just a little) again. I kind of miss… me. Now before you start yelling at your screens at me, understand first, how selfless one becomes after having children. And that’s how it should be. Everything we do should be for our kids… EVERYTHING!
A recent and well deserved night out with some friends actually prompted this post. I was dragging, nagging, and just down right “wild looking” as my husband calls it (the look of losing my mind). He said there was NO WAY I was getting “Cabin Fever” this early so he told me to go out with my friends. And let me tell you, that was the briefest but most relaxing two hours I have had in weeks. I felt HUMAN again! I could laugh with adults about adult situations. I could leave the baby talk at home and cuss like the lady sailor that I am. I didn’t have to worry about anyone but me for those two hours (of course I did still worry if the kids were in bed and if the husband was okay).
I hardly ever “go out” anymore, I never really did in the first place but the fact that I COULD HAVE at any time was always refreshing. I really do miss being spontaneous and doing whatever I wanted when I wanted. I miss going shopping and spending hours doing it. I miss going to get my hair and nails done whenever I wanted. I miss going out to eat with friends whenever we wanted. I miss dating my husband.
But being a parent makes me forget about all of that. If I do go shopping, it’s for them. If we go out to eat, it’s “kids meals” at a “kid friendly” restaurant. If I go get my hair and nails done, it’s in my basement when the kids are asleep (I’ve turned my husband into a pretty good beautician). If the husband and I go on a date, it’s once a year (pathetic right? We are working on that though).
My point is, it’s okay to be selfish once in a while. I’m not saying all the time and to go crazy. I know that with the first thought of even having children one has to leave the selfishness behind, and both my husband and I have. But if you don’t take care of you, how are you going to take care of others that depend on you?! So celebrate you once in a while! Do what you want to do, even if it is for a super quick two hours. You will feel so refreshed. Your partner will appreciate it and most of all, your kids will appreciate a happy, calm, and relaxed parent.