A Harsh Reality

CAUTION/WARNING
Before I get into what really grinds my gears, I am going to take a second and make this my “Warning” or “Caution“. This post is over a serious issue. This is a hard subject to touch on and I really don’t want to offend anyone or scare anyone. I will try to keep it short and to the point (I may ramble, I can’t help it sometimes). I’ve personally dealt with it and I have family and friends that have dealt with it as well.  IT SUCKS. IT HURTS. ITS NOT FAIR. And I AM SORRY.

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You know what really grinds my (parental) gears?
Miscarriages and Infertility. Everything about both of these issues sucks! It’s NEVER fair and its never easy. It is the some of the worst heartache you will ever experience.

Miscarriage is a pregnancy that ends on its own (AmericanPregnancy.Org). The website just cited had some great but unfortunate facts:

  • 10-25% of clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage
  • women over 40 have a (huge) 50%chance of miscarriage
  • there are 8 different types of Miscarriages that Doctors may refer to

The site also had a great section at the end for websites that are helpful in addressing miscarriage and pregnancy loss.

I have had a miscarriage and as I said before, IT SUCKS, IT HURTS, ITS NOT FAIR! BUT, normally it is something you can move on from. I remember when I was pregnant with my youngest son (my 3rd pregnancy), I was so worried that pregnancy was about to end in miscarriage as well. The Doctor reassured me that just because I’ve had one, it did NOT make me “prone” to have another (I held my breath until about the 16th week of gestation). He’s here, he’s 18 months (almost) now, he’s healthy, and he completed us.

Infertility is the inability to get pregnant within a year of unprotected sex and also including women (couples) that are able to get pregnant but cannot stay pregnant (miscarriage)(WomensHealth.Gov). It is affecting nearly 10% of women aged 15-44 in the U.S. This site was very informative. ASRM.Org was just as informative but gave you the facts quickly.

Infertility does not mean you can never have children (unfortunately for some, yes it does). I know at least two couples whom have had infertility treatments done and were both SUCCESSFUL! Their journeys were not easy though, there was still a lot of pain and heartache.

I am trying to stay short with this and not go off on some post that I could spend hours and days writing, as I easily could over this topic. These events are very personal and very tragic. And a lot of why I wrote this post is because, it really does grind my gears that people have to experience their hearts being ripped from their chests. I see soooo many stories about abusive and neglectful parents. I don’t understand why those people get to have children and other (parent material, couples that deserve children) are cursed with infertility and/or miscarriages?! That sucks. That hurts. And one last time, I am sorry.

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A Tornado Hit the Toy Chest… AGAIN!

My beautiful, lively son... and his toy chest. I literally just picked up all the toys and closed the lid 5 minutes before this picture...

My beautiful, lively son… and his toy chest. I literally just picked up all the toys and closed the lid 5 minutes before this picture…

You know what really grinds my (parental) gears?
How easily children can turn into TORNADOS!

I know, children are messy. I know never to take their messes for granted because I know one day, I won’t have their mess to clean up anymore. But COME ON! They are little tornados and/or hurricanes (whichever you prefer best), and the storm only seems to strike when the coast is clear. “Oh, you just cleaned up Mom? Here, let me help you WRECK the place!”

I do love watching them play. I do love watching their imagination and creativity come into action. I do not love the mess, but I deal with it. This post I found was dead on and I also learned a few tricks to help with clean up

  • Play on a blanket (holy genius! Why in the world have I not thought of that yet?!)
  • Encourage play at a table (it makes sense, duh! but unfortunately it isn’t always that easy)
  • Kids who play in isolation become teenagers who are out of sight (glad we don’t have an isolated play room, if only for this reason alone)

So parents beware… if you clean your home or any area of the house for that matter… the storm is building and will strike AS SOON as you sit down 🙂 but the storm ALWAYS passes and before you know it, you will be missing the storms.

TechNO

You know what really grinds my (parental) gears?
The struggle with technology. No, not the struggle of how to use technology, but to allow children to interact with it and how adults interact with it.

I know we are living in a world that is technology. Phones, computers, laptops, tablets, etc., run our everyday activities. They are used for pleasure and work/school. We watch TV, we socialize, we email, and we have mindless entertainment right at the touch of our fingers. It’s actually very annoying and very addicting.

I too struggle with this. I am not here (as I have said in my “about” page) to criticize anyone’s parenting style. I criticize my own and criticize the annoyances that come with parenthood.

I have seen a few blog posts popping up lately about moms using technology. Both of the two “letters” hit me hard, as I see and recognize both sides of it. Dear Mom on the iPhone, was written by a fellow blogger. It was all too real, sad, and accurate. Kids see us on our phones or whatever technology we are on, and think that whatever we are doing is more important than they are. That we can’t just live in the moment with them.

There was also a rebuttal to the first letter. I also agreed with this blogger. You’re doing just fine. You’ve taught your child many great lessons so far. They need to learn to be independent. You need to help provide a living for your family. I get it! Sometimes, we HAVE to look at our phones. Sometimes we need a mental break, if only for 2 quick minutes, when we’ve spent hours watching their every move.

See what I mean? THE STRUGGLE!

I think there is a time and a place for technology, especially, when your children are present! Times and places (that I think) are acceptable to use technology are:
• A quick check in the bathroom
• While your child is in the bathroom
• Before child wakes up
• During nap time
• While child is completely entertained by themselves (though you may want to watch the   beauty of your child interacting and entertaining themselves)
• Once child is asleep for the night

As the rebuttal “letter” says, you don’t have to watch every waking moment of your child’s life, but PLEASE do not EVER let your child think that your phone, or your emails are more important than they are. Use technology as the name implies, smart! Use it when your children will not be offended, when they are not trying to impress you and please you. They grow up WAY TOO FAST. Enjoy them while they are so little and innocent. Before you know it, they will never be home or they will be “too cool” to hang with Mom and Dad, and then you will have all the free time in the world to use your technology.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL… and it really grinds my gears.

Losing It

You know what really grinds my (parental) gears?
Temper tantrums! You know, the kicking, screaming, crying, hitting, spitting, shenanigans that our wonderful children do when they do not get their way. Of course it is always at the most inopportune times when we are all out in public (afraid to even react or discipline because of the extreme embarrassment that washes over). All kids go through this phase, so be prepared! (If you just said your child never did, you’re LYING, there is no way I believe you, sorry).

Wouldn’t it be nice, if we could all react that way…NOT! It really is crazy what kids will get worked up over. It sometimes can be a legit reason that warrants a reaction (they just don’t know how to quite express themselves appropriately yet), but for the most part, it’s for some CRAZY reason. It is all so silly. They look silly, you look silly (in your embarrassment/frustration), the whole situation is just silly!

I once freaked my eldest son out because he kept throwing tantrums throughout the day. So, I decided the next time he threw a tantrum, I would as well. As soon as he started, I started screaming, whining, pounding my fists, and threw myself to the floor. My husband was horrified, my child was horrified, and to be honest, I couldn’t have been more proud of myself at that moment. I think I got the point across (at least for the rest of that day), how silly it looks to throw a temper tantrum. Once my son made sure I was okay, he did admit how silly and ridiculous Mommy looked. IT WORKED! (I was slightly impressed by my tantrum skills).

I can’t think of the silliest thing my kids have ever thrown a tantrum over, but here is a gallery of some pretty silly kids throwing some pretty hilarious tantrums: 35 Hilarious Photos of Kids Losing It Over NOTHING.

I hope this brings back some awesome (yeah right) memories for you parents out there. For parents who haven’t entered this phase yet, DOESN’T THIS LOOK FUN?! And to those of you without children, be easy on us when you do see our children freaking out for NO REASON. We have no idea when it is going to happen and it is actually very hard to stop once started.  And if you see a mother or father going crazy and screaming and kicking on the floor, maybe they have reached their breaking point OR it could just be a lesson for the child to learn.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHAS;DLKFJAS;LGJAFSDJA;SLDGKJAGJA;LKDJGA;LGKJASG! Sorry, had a little freak out there, I just dropped my pen on the floor and the dog sniffed my foot. See what I did there 😉

And that folks, is what really grinds my (parental) gears. At least for this week 🙂

Target Practice

You know what really grinds my (Parental) gears?
Potty training little boys. YUCK! My bathroom now smells like a Frat House (minus the spilled beer stench)! I don’t understand how urine can collect somewhere where I didn’t know urine could collect. It’s a vicious cycle. Pee, clean, pee, clean, pee, where in the world did that (puddle) come from and how is that possible?!

“Don’t shoot the moon!” is what we tell our son… all… the… time! For some reason he just wants to let that yellow stream go wherever it desires. Gross, I know. For the most part, he really is good about it. There are definitely times when he is excited or super sleepy (peeing with his eyes closed….c’mon man, wake up!), and I know it’s not going to be a straight shot, that I can prepare and watch out for.

We’ve tried all kinds of games and strategies (target practice) to get a good “aim”, but I think it may just be typical for boys to want to “go” everywhere.

  • Cherrio practice
  • Square of toilet paper targeting
  • AIM FOR THE HOLE
  • Hit the water only
  • And countless others (some are too gross to go into)

To parents with little girls, I am jealous. You always have a straight shot down, not up, not over, but down. YOU LUCKY PEOPLE YOU! Unless I am wrong (which I very well could be?!), and therefore, potty training in general really grinds my gears!! (But at the same time, I never could have imagined that someone doing their business on a potty would ever make me so happy!!)

Who are you and why are you touching me?

You know what really grinds my (parental) gears?
Pregnant belly touches! No, not from family and friends. I actually encouraged that. But, when you are standing in line just minding your own business at the grocery store, and then, all of a sudden- a warm hand on your big baby bump. WHAT?! Who are you and why are you invading my personal space?

From the right people, I didn’t mind the belly rubs and crazy baby talk that was taking place an inch from my belly button. But, as I was casually waddling around doing my Christmas shopping, I remembered… I was by myself but yet-there was a hand rubbing my very large baby bump (insert a loud, horrible gasp)! All I remember was how flustered I was and how bad I wanted to start swinging my multiple packs of Christmas socks I was trying to buy. You always hear stories about pregnant women being abducted and that was my first thought (fight or flight, ya know). After my initial shock of this adorable old woman caressing my belly, I was left with the awful feeling of being violated. Did she really just come in my personal space and rub MY belly, MY baby- WITHOUT my permission?

I never knew I would react that way. But I liked it. It felt as though it was my first glimpse into being that overly protective parent I knew I was destined to be.

I once got yelled at for doing it (NO it was not on a STRANGER- geez)! It was however, before I ever became pregnant and truly understood how personal and enraging (from the wrong person) that touch can be. It made me understand and appreciate the beauty of ones’ comfort zone. So thank you-you know who you are!

Now please, even if you know the pregnant woman, PLEASE ask her permission! For the love of all that is HOLY, JUST ASK! More often than not, I am betting she will let you. But let her be prepared for that invasion of personal space. After all, it’s not just her belly, it is her child. She will protect that round and beautiful belly, carrying her beautiful child, at all costs.